An Open Letter to the First Time Mom...

Touching on the raw and honest realities of being a first time mom.

Congratulations on that precious new bundle! What a blessing you hold in your arms. That life you’ve created and carried for nine months or the life that you’ve waited to hold for the first time... That button nose you finally get to kiss and those cries you waited longingly for...you made it!

You may bare the battle scars showing evidence of your body having grown and stretched to accommodate that precious life or you carry the battle wound that represents life literally lifted into this world. Or maybe you're a warrior of waiting who prayed for and were blessed with the privilege to be a mother of another’s child. This is a challenging, beautiful, messy, trying, indescribable journey.

Motherhood is a sacrifice. You’re torn abruptly from your original identity and slapped on the back with a new name, “Mom.” An unexpectedly bold welcome to a new and terrifyingly exciting world.

Your hormones are raging as they adjust to your little one outside of the womb. You’ll be teary without cause, you’ll be anxious about your new found responsibilities and fearful of the unknown. With hormones come emotions, with emotions come reactions...sensical or nonsensical, embrace the rollercoaster ride and have some chocolate. Be patient with yourself. You are facing the most incredible, life changing experience. Give yourself time to adjust and give yourself grace.

You may be fortunate and sail pass the baby blues or maybe you’re facing it. Reach out, it’s okay to ask for help. Your loved ones, your neighbors, your friends, they’ve all been there. Don’t be ashamed and don’t be embarrassed. You’re not alone.

To the breastfeeding mom... Nursing is hard. Have patience with yourself and your baby. You’ll find your rhythm in due time and develop an unbreakable bond. With nursing comes painfully deep aches as your body shrinks back to size. Thankfully they’ll ease with each passing feed as your body heals. And that tingling sensation? Weird, huh. You may soak every shirt you own and smell of sour milk for weeks to come, but your body is providing for your baby and that’s a blessing to be grateful for. To the bottle feeding mom... cherish the quiets moments you have to treasure that sweet, fresh new face looking up at you. Embrace the opportunity to memorize every dimple, every line and every characteristic that your very body built or that God so graciously handed you. What a miracle.

I imagine you’re sitting quietly on the couch as you watch the dishes accumulate and the laundry pile up. You glance at the overflowing diaper pail, the long forgotten bathtub and your beloved bed calling your name. The bottles and nursing sessions seem endless. The dirty diapers are overwhelming. You try to remember the last diaper change, the last feed, your last shower. You cringe at the thought of company. You’re running on adrenaline and your days are a blur... but all is well. It’s okay to stay in that milk stained shirt, it’s okay to walk past the dishes, it’s okay to deny visitors. This is your time to rest, recover and recuperate. Take care of yourself.

You’ll have moments of fear...you’ll ask yourself, “Am I doing it right? Am I doing it wrong?” Moments of depression will creep up on you like a wave in the wee hours of the morning as you’re up for the fourth time since your head hit the pillow. Try not to worry and rest your eyes when your baby sleeps, say a prayer and put your baby in His hands. Your baby IS still breathing. But go ahead and check again and again...and again. Sleepless nights are trying. They will test your sanity, they will heighten your self-doubt and they will put a strain on your relationships. Balance is a thing of the past in these first few months. Your responsibilities and your world have shifted. Walk intentionally through this time and focus on you and your baby. It’s okay to be selfish right now.

You’ll face moments of panic, self-doubt, uncertainty and yes, even regret. But remember that God blessed you with this little life. He chose you with confidence and He has faith in your abilities. Family, friends, neighbors and strangers will share their experiences, their advice, their opinions and their judgements...smile kindly. Accept their help and continue to do YOU and trust in yourself. No one knows how to be a better mom to your baby than you do.

You may have loose skin, new wrinkles, bags beneath your eyes and greasy hair. Your body aches to it’s core. You’re exhausted to the bone. Life as you know it has just been ripped out from beneath you, flipped upside down and put back sideways. But take a moment, hold that fragile precious body in your hands. Do you feel it yet? That overwhelming, rock you to your core, undefinable love? Amazing isn’t it. Welcome to motherhood.