Life before kids was effortless, free, self-centered and most definitely under appreciated.
Photo Credit: E&H Creates...who captured our wedding beautifully.
Our evenings begin as you walk through the door, tired but smiling. You kiss the kids. We share a brief exchange of frazzled hellos and hugs. The kids take hold of your arms and legs and pull your attention to their desperate pleas to play. I tend to the baby, check dinner in the oven and wash some dishes. I ask the routine question, “How was your day?” You respond over the high pitched squeals and hungry fusses. I miss what you say and we agree to talk later. We sit down to dinner together crammed at the breakfast table while overflowing clean laundry takes residence on the dining room table... The kids chat about their day and bicker about who was served the better plate. We spoon feed dinner into little mouths, coax stubborn toddlers to “just try it!,” clean up spills, pick up dropped silverware and discipline in sync as we tackle dinner together. Bellies are full and little legs escape the table quickly. You sit quietly as I rally the wanderers. You touch my hand in passing as a silent gesture of love and acknowledgment. The nonverbal conversation that speaks one thousand words. My heart melts a little. I think of what little time we have together, what little opportunity there is to reconnect, to share a quiet conversation and to grow our marriage. I reminisce of the countless nights out, sharing dinner at our favorite restaurants, our evenings alone, sleeping in, quiet car rides, uninterrupted conversation...We joke about how we never truly appreciated the time together before we welcomed three little beings into this world and how we would use it differently if we had a second chance.
Despite the brief heartache, I’m quickly reminded of the life we’ve built together. The love we’ve filled our home with and the love that sits around our table. A once quiet conversation is now filled with excited, sweet little voices. Car rides are busy refereeing toddlers, reaching blindly for toys and pacifiers, holding hands and listening to “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” and “Old McDonald” from the back seat. Sleeping in is now lounging in bed, a pile of little bodies wedged between us giggling, poking and playing. A Friday night out is now a movie night in as we share popcorn, blankets and holler countless times attempting to reel in excitement expressed by their rambunctious little bodies.
Bath time follows dinner before we wrestle on PJ’s, negotiate the newly discovered “I’m hungry” phrase, and get through “Just one more!” book... I look at you reading with the kids. We’ve yet to speak more than a few words to each other since you arrived home. Yet somehow we navigate this life together. I think of the love I had for you our exciting first summer that has grown to a deeper level of commitment, understanding and devotion.
I begin my evening cleaning routine. The time escapes me and I realize you’ve dozed off with the kids, exhausted and limp from the days work. I pull you out of dream world with a few nudges. You drag yourself through your evening ritual as I continue to clean and prepare for the next day. The evening comes to an end as we fall into bed, exhausted from the days demands managing three. A short embrace is quickly interrupted like clockwork as the baby squirms, a toddler whines from the room over and little feet are heard navigating the dark to join us. We sooth the sleepless, provide comfort for the nightmares and back to bed they go. My head hits your shoulder and my eyes close without intention. The day ends, soon to begin again like a broken record. Mom, rinse, repeat.
Our days may blend together. The hours are long, the days are short, weeks are fleeting and years are escaping. The now mundane routine of childrearing toddlers will rapidly evolve to a chaotic blend of sports, school, play dates and homework that we will learn to adapt too. Soon it will be followed by waving goodbye to our grown babies. We will watch them walk into adulthood and reminisce on the times we once held their hands as we taught them their first steps in life. This is just a moment in time that won’t last forever and will see its way through our life faster than we realize. Our time will come again when the rooms are empty, the hallways are quiet and the house is still. Let’s lock hands with those little fingers, embrace those little bodies and soak up this time. We’ve been granted a second opportunity to appreciate and love one another that was once beyond our understanding that first summer. So until then, let us love each other through it as we hold each other from a distance. With everything there is a season, our season is coming.
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-22: To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, And a time to die; A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted; A time to kill, And a time to heal; A time to break down, And a time to build up; A time to weep, And a time to laugh; A time to mourn, And a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; A time to gain, And a time to lose; A time to keep, And a time to throw away; A time to tear, And a time to sew; A time to keep silence, And a time to speak; A time to love, And a time to hate; A time of war, And a time of peace."
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