Mom Burnout

Mom burnout is real. So incredibly real. A blog to encourage balance and positivity when the burnout of motherhood seems all consuming.

I did it. I made it through one more bedtime, one more book and one more lullaby. I latch the door and take a sigh of relief as it closes. One more day done. I pause to glance at the mess that surrounds me. My bed has never looked more enticing... I strongly debate calling it a night or kicking my self-discipline into overdrive and finally “catching up”. My bed wins. I’m frustrated, overwhelmed, exhausted, over-touched, out of touch and downright done. It’s 10 o’clock again. I wanted to go to bed early. The clean clothes lay gathering wrinkles. The spilled juice is tacky on the floor collecting the days dirt. The toothbrush smears on the mirror taunt me every bathroom trip. Someone got their little hands on the sticker book again, I’ll be finding stars and smiley faces for the next year. I see the book I’ve been longing to read sitting on the shelf collecting dust. I’ve read the same three chapters five times over in my brief moments of silence before being interrupted without fail. I day dream about the bath bomb I’ve been dying to try that is now half dissolved beneath the bathroom cabinet. I think of how the grocery store is the closest thing I’ve gotten to a moment alone in months. And that quiet date night with my husband? More like a family movie night with two kids guaranteed to be jumping off the walls until 10 after falling asleep on the car ride home and can’t forget the overtired, teething baby.

This, is mom burnout. Mom burnout is REAL. So incredibly real. As I write this, I’m there. I’m knee deep in it and sinking. Add quarantine to the mix with three littles stuck at home for over three months and well, enough said. I’m craving a trip to the bathroom without a couple of peeping toms at the door. I’m antsy for the long over due coffee date with my best friend. I’m anxious to mindlessly browse the aisles of clothes and shoes without little fingers wrapped around my hands tugging me to the toy section. I’m desperate to eat the candy bar strategically hidden from my family without little gaping mouths at my feet. My husband will read this... and look for it. Good luck. In this moment, this is my reality. Right now, I’m frustrated with the mess. I’m discouraged by my inability to keep up and I’m so, so tired. And you know what? That’s okay. It’s okay that my bed is winning tonight. I need it. The mess will be there tomorrow. In this moment I struggle to see the positive side and the blessings that surround me. It’s okay that I’m aggravated and discouraged, tomorrow is a new day and these emotions are temporary.

Although mom burnout is raw, real and incredibly challenging, it’s an opportunity. It’s an opportunity to look within yourself, to recognize your current mindset and alter your perception with a conscious effort. It’s a chance to take charge of your emotions and your reality. It’s also an opportunity to recognize the changes you need to make in order to regain time for self-care, peace and balance. Motherhood is an ever evolving journey. No day is the same. I praise any mom who can nail down a solid routine and stick to it. We settle into a routine, I think I’ve hit the jackpot of a schedule and BAM, their needs change and there goes my scheduled in “me time” or brief chance to clean my bathroom... We have to learn to adapt, to evolve with the constantly changing world within our own walls. I find myself flopping into the chair at my coffee table far too often after bedtime playing “woah is me” to my husband. I fill the air with excuses why I’m always playing catch up, why I can’t read that book or take that bath and why the laundry is clean, but sits unfolded on the dining room table yet again. And my husband, God bless him, is always reminding me, “You can make all of the excuses in the world or you can do something about it.” No, sympathy, no comfort, just the honest truth. It’s taken me years to recognize that I’m my own worst enemy. My state of mind is my own decision and all of my to do’s left undone or the longed moments of self care that are put off, are my own doing. The same goes for you.

If you want to get out of the slump of mom burnout you have to take charge. You can’t let mom burnout own you. You have to put that fire out by feeding the fire within you. You have to learn to treat yourself. Feed your soul with the word or with that quiet cup of coffee alone. Take that peaceful moment for meditation, sneak in some yoga or go grab yourself that Starbucks drink you’ve been longing to try. Take a moment to reflect on what gives you balance and how to make it happen. Does it look like waking up at 5:00am every morning to get that workout in, enjoy a hot cup of coffee and uninterrupted breakfast? Does it mean finding a way to afford that babysitter you’ve been dying to hire once a week for three hours alone? Find what fuels your fire.

I write each blog as I’m driven by my own experiences. I don’t have a set schedule, I don’t have planned blogs... I share with honesty as I face each given challenge or my current experiences and emotions. Who am I to share coping tips if I can’t share my own daily struggles and realities and be genuine and honest about facing them with you. My walk through motherhood is far from perfect. It is and will continue to be a huge learning experience and the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. I’m passionate about reaching other women in hopes to motivate and inspire. Motherhood is hard. It takes a huge support system and I want to be part of it for you whether my words help relieve a little anxiety or make you realize you’re most definitely not alone in this.

It’s day two of this blog. I’m writing in my backyard, at six in the morning with a hot coffee in hand. The baby is stirring on the baby monitor and I hear my two year old gently calling my name. The most beautiful sounds in the world. I’ve stolen a moment for myself, and even managed to get a whole cup of HOT coffee down. So here’s to a new day and a new perspective, for the moment. Recenter yourself in these moments. Find your balance as often as you need. I know I need it daily. Take care of YOU. You have to be the best version of yourself so you can be the best version for your family. The saying always goes “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” So go fill your cup, make yourself a priority, tackle your day and stop making excuses for your actions and start making actions toward your excuses.